How to respond to an unexpected message like a normal human being


I guess the start of my problem here is that I’m probably not a normal human being. The middle being that the message is from a boy I used to have a massive crush on. And the end being… there is no end, I’m pretty much socially awkward and problems like this never go away. Whilst procrastinating, I stumbled upon an old relic called facebook, which should only be used if you want to be trapped into mindlessly watching vines for 2 hours, and wishing you were not. Whilst being slowly bored by video after video, I realised I had a message. Thinking it would probably just be one of my friends I clicked on it, only to realise it was not, and was in fact P (P’s not his real name because just in case, in a sick twisted turn of events P finds this, and realises it’s about him then I will never go to school again. I know it’s a little long-winded but stranger things have happened… Probably).

Me and P used to talk in year 9, (when the crushing started) but as time went by we kinda just stopped talking. At the beginning of year 10 he turned into more of an acquaintance, and less of a crush. Now, at almost the beginning of year 11, he is a boy who I sit behind in history, where I occasionally find myself admiring his hair cut. (Weird, but he has gr8 hair). So you can imagine my surprise (I totally stole this line from somewhere. I’m not sure where, but creds to the dude that was brainy enough to think it up) when I saw that it was P.

The message only said hi, but even the thought of a message from him makes me want to change my name to Derek and move to Paris, just so I don’t have to think of something to say back that doesn’t make me sound like a n00b. I replied with “hi?”, which now that I think about it sounds more rude than curious (oh god). How do you correctly tell someone that you used to have the biggest crush on them therefore feel awkward about talking to them?

And then he commented on my late reply (9 days late) because who the hell checks their faceboook messages anyway to which I said “It was a bit random” because it’s true and then he just said that he “wanted to talk to me”. HA HAAHA. 

Then just to prove that I could look even more awkward than I looked before (amazing I know) I said “I have lost all ability to think of anything to say”… So now as well as me knowing that I’m not good at conversations, so does he.

Who tells people that they don’t know what to say? Me… I do. I’m the idiot that does that.

After that he asked me how my holiday was and I said something along the lines of “It was ok, how about you?”. To which he said “Same”. And then I didn’t reply, because how does one reply to “same”? Please put that amongst the list of the thousands of other things that I make awkward.

So in conclusion, I’m more awkward than I thought possible, and I can’t reply to messages like a normal human. So if you were mislead and thought that this post would actually help you respond to an unexpected message maybe or maybe not from a boy you spent a whole year having a crush on then I am sorry. But just know that I’m in the same boat as you, and we can be awkward together.

Also, this post is amazingly long and amazingly boring, so I apologise for that too. I’m off to make a cup of tea, and to try to avoid the questions that will inevitably be thrown at me by my mum’s tipsy friend who is downstairs this very moment.



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