To the untrained eye (basically anyone that doesn’t know me) I may look shy, and like I don’t speak a lot. The first part is true, I am very shy, and I hate speaking or doing anything that involves having an audience watch me. But if you know me, then I speak a lot. Today I was out with 3 of my friends, for one of their birthdays (Happy Birthday N! Although I know you’re not reading this). All I kept finding myself doing was thinking “Why did I say that? They don’t care about what I think”.
I wasn’t saying anything rude, I was just talking, and that’s the thing. Once I’ve said something I almost always want to shove the words back into my mouth so nobody will hear them. Every time I speak I feel as if I’m being annoying, so I tell myself to stop being annoying, but then more words come tumbling from my mouth. I talk entirely too much about things I feel nobody cares about. I’ll say “I read this book blah blah blah” and then I’d tell them about the contents of the book, but after I’ve finished telling them I can only help but think that I’m being annoying again.
I don’t know why I feel like this. But I just wish my mouth had some kind of filter that would stop me from saying annoying things… But then I would probably end up never speaking because I’m pretty sure that everything I say is annoying. Now that I think about it, this whole post is probably annoying. I wish I could just be quiet and just let other people speak.
In other non-im-annoying-why-do-i-even-bother-to-speak-related-news I started watching awkward last night. I remember I watched the first series of it a while ago, and I couldn’t find the second series, so I gave up. I liked it the first time I watched the first series, but now I’m a bit older I feel like I can understand it better, and I absolutely love it. I love the fact that although Jenna saw herself as awkward and weird she still got the guy she wanted. (Obviously minus the confusing love triangle. Sorry Jake, I was always team Matty).
Because I am a teenage girl, and teenage girls do this kind of thing, I will now tell you that I have the BIGGEST crush on Matty. He has the cutest smile, and really nice eyes and really nice hair and a really nice face and a he’s really tall so obviously that’s really nice and everything about him is really nice. The first time I watched awkward I thought that he was all right looking, but since having watched it again I’ve realised that 13 year old me was so wrong and that he is undeniably gorgeous.
If you haven’t watched awkward, then I suggest you do. I haven’t given it a very thrilling review, but trust me (trust me, I am only a stranger, wow) it is very much worth watching. Apart from the obviously gorgeous Matty, and the rest of the good-looking cast, it has a really good storyline and really good characters. I think my favourite character is Tamara because she’s so confident and she stands up for herself (please let me grow up to be like that). I’m on season 3, episode 2 and I stopped 10 minutes into it because I wanted to write a post. I’m going to try and write something on here everyday, even if it is just rambling like this has been.
Also, before I end this post, I want to say thank you to every word you say for welcoming me to the blogosphere, and I really like your blog 🙂
Bye for nowwwwwwwww!